BeautyRevealed | The Blog of Melissa J. Dillon

“This romance is immensely personal… as if it has been scripted for your heart.”

- Stasi Eldredge

“A woman becomes beautiful when she knows she’s loved.

Cut off from love, rejected, no one pursuing her, something in a woman wilts like a flower no one waters anymore. She withers into resignation, duty, and shame. The radiance of her countenance goes out, as if a light has been turned off.

But this same woman, who everyone thought was rather plain and unengaging, becomes lovely and inviting when she is pursued. Her heart begins to come alive, come to the surface, and her countenance becomes radiant. We wonder, ‘Where has she been all these years? Why, she really is captivating.’

[There is a power in romance] releasing her true beauty, awakening her heart. She comes alive. As women we long to be loved in a certain way, a way unique to our femininity. We long for romance…

… This doesn’t need to wait for a man.

God longs to bring this into your life Himself. He wants to heal us through His love to become mature women who actually know Him. He wants us to experience verses like, ‘Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her’ (Hosea 2:14). And ‘You have stolen My heart, My sister, My bride’ (Song of Songs 4:9). Our hearts are desperate for this. What would it be like to experience for yourself that the truest thing about His heart toward yours is not disappointment or disapproval but deep, fiery, passionate love? This is, after all, what a woman was made for.

Faithful obedience to God is vital, but it is not all God draws us to. It is not sufficient for our healing, no more than doing laundry is sufficient for our marriage. And it will not be enough in the long run to carry us through. It is holy, fierce passion. Hearts afire. For the root of all holiness is Romance.”

- John and Stasi Eldredge
From the book “Captivating”

“It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.”

- Psalm 119:71

There is no longer any doubt in my mind that it is the Lord’s will for me to eat the bread of sorrow and affliction from time to time. (“I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.” Isaiah 48:10) And there is no longer any doubt that it is the most loving thing He can do for me. It is hard… and at times I hate it, but I know now that there is no other way to bring me back to deeper intimacy with God, than to recognize my own helplessness and neediness for Him.

My friend Gari once told me: “Nothing can touch you that is not sifted through the wisdom of God.”

In each of our lives there is a “valley of the shadow of death”… and not just our literally death at the end of our lives, but death of self, death of expectations, death of the counterfeits that we have been depending on, death of dreams, death of our own pride and ability to do it on our own. Because His will is not for us to live comfortable, shallow and “fluffy” lives. When we have deep issues that need to be rooted out, His loving kindness refuses to let us stay that way. He doesn’t want pride or fear of man or unbelief to remain in us… He sees us with eyes that view our greatest potential. He desires for us walk through that painful valley of death, so we can find our life in Jesus Christ. When we come up on the other side after each valley, we are made more and more into the likeness of Christ. We are more refined because the impurities have been rising to the surface during our journey through the valley, and He has been lovingly skimming them off the top. And the hotter the fire… well, the more impurities seem to rise.

I have always hated the fire, but as time goes on, I am beginning to see the value in them as I come up on the other side. Understanding has been increased, more scales have fallen off my eyes, and I always come up leaning on the strong shoulder of my Beloved.

The one thing we must remember is that He does not leave us during the journey. Just because we are going through trials and tribulations, it does not mean that His blessing and favor and Presence has left us. No! The Lord is intimately involved in each and every step of our journey! His love and deep compassion never fails us. I wish so much that I had learned this truth much earlier in my life… oh, how much more bearable those trips through the valley would have been had I been abiding in His deep love for me. But our tendency is to fall into self-pity, or anger, and grit our teeth and try to do it on our own. The trial may end, but the lessons learned are few and far between because the seeds were falling onto the hard and rocky places of our heart. But when we see the value of the testing in our lives, we can soften our hearts and let the Lord be our comforter and teacher through the tears and the pain. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” When we believe this, then the seeds can fall on the soft and fertile ground of our hearts and begin to take root. When we come up on the other side of the valley, we can see the fruit… the beautiful fruit that has grown up in our hearts through the process of the journey. It is then that we can finally see the value of the Valley.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.”

- Unknown

It is an amazing legacy to see the fruit of someone’s life still growing strong even after they have passed away. That is such evidence of a life well lived, and it has impacted me to the core. Rocky’s funeral was unlike any other I have ever been to. Not only because of the amazing strength and grace displayed by his wife and family that can only come from the Power from on High, but because of tremendous impact he had on hundreds of people from all walks of life. And through his death there was such a testimony of God’s love, power, grace and faithfulness. The Lord was worshipped whole-heartedly in spite of grief and questions. And watching all of the hands lifted toward heaven while the tears were streaming down faces, I truly saw beauty in the midst of the ashes. It brought a whole new meaning to the scripture that says, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.” (Psalm 116.) I have since heard that over 20 people gave their lives to the Lord at the funeral service, and countless others have realized a need to change the course of their lives. Something has changed in me that day: it is a tremendous desire to live a life that is worth watching. It inspires me greatly to live an upright and contagious life… a desire to become more like Jesus. Especially now, as I am a Mommy, I want to make sure that Ava’s little eyes are watching a woman who strives to follow after God with her whole heart, mind, spirit and strength. And when my life is over on this earth, I want to walk through heaven’s gates and hear the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”… just as Rocky heard them just a few short weeks ago.

*photo source unknown

I needed to hear this today. It goes along with John 15 which I have been meditating on this week:

“How many Christians look upon it as a burden and a duty and a difficulty to get much alone with God! That is the great hindrance to our Christian life everywhere. We want more quiet fellowship with God, and I tell you in the name of the heavenly Vine that you cannot be healthy branches, branches into which the heavenly sap can flow, unless you take plenty of time for communion with God. If you are not willing to sacrifice time to get alone with Him, and to keep up the link of connection between you and Himself, He cannot give you that blessing of His unbroken fellowship. Live in close communion with Him!”

- Andrew Murray
Absolute Surrender, 1962 edition

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me he can do nothing.” – John 15

Dear Family and Friends,

Yes, our little girl’s name is Ava. We wanted to wait till she was born to announce it, but as we are writing to ask you all for prayer for our baby girl, we want her name to be lifted up to heaven as much as possible.

On Wednesday evening, our doctor called with some concerns over Ava’s ultrasound pictures that had been taken the previous day. He had sent them to Duluth, and the specialist there wanted to see us right away. So yesterday morning we headed to the Duluth Clinic to have another ultrasound done and to meet with Dr. O’Day. Our “Ava Baby” has what is called Duodenal Atresia which is a blockage in her small intestine. This means that she will have to undergo surgery as soon as she is born to remove the blockage and reattach the intestine. We are told that the incision in her abdomen is fairly small and this procedure, in most cases, should not have any sort of complications arising from it. Our hearts are grieved, though, for our precious little one having to go through surgery the day she is born. She will not be able to breastfeed right away, which of course was our hope… we wanted to begin that bonding process right away, and to keep her safe in our arms~ just loving on her and adoring her. But she will need to  be fed through tubes for the first few days, and then with a bottle, then she will be able to slowly begin to breastfeed. The overall recovery time is two weeks, and of course we will stay with her in the hospital until we can safely bring her home.

At the moment, we are working on getting her in to Fairview Hospital in Minneapolis. There is a Christian Surgeon there who comes highly recommended through friends of ours who’s daughter also had intestinal complications. We have such a peace about this hospital and staff, and it will also be so good to be near Jamie and Angela during this time. My family will be there as much as they can, and it will be such a blessing that they will have a place to stay that is close by. There is so much changing to do now, though. Please pray for us as we meet with the Surgeon, Doctors and staff, and begin the process of working through all the changes that need to happen in the next few days or weeks: transferring, consulting with physicians, insurance logistics, changes in birth plan, lots of questions, packing for two weeks or more, traveling to The Cities, etc. She is due soon, so time is very much a factor for us. We are told that a vaginal birth is still possible, unless other complications arise… so we are praying and believing for a natural and blessed delivery.

There is still so much that we don’t know yet until we meet with the Surgeon and Doctors, but we will give updates here on the blog when we find out more. Please pray with us for Ava’s quick and thorough healing in the hands of those caring for her. We also know that we serve a God who can heal her in the blink of an eye! Our faith muscles have been exercised a lot in the last few days, and Mark and I desire that we would not doubt, but trust in our God who loves us and our “Ava Baby” even more than we could imagine! My Dad reminded me the other day that it is so important to praise the Lord on this side of the Red Sea, and not just when we get to the other side. Too often we wait until we have proof of God’s goodness before we praise Him rather than putting our trust in Him when we cannot see the outcome. The bottom line is: God is good ~ all the time. He deserves our praise no matter what, and we will praise Him in this Storm. Jamie reminded me today that there isn’t one aspect of Ava’s life that is outside of the Lord’s influence and authority! The Lord is intimately involved in all things concerning our precious daughter. And “by His stripes we are healed.”

If you have prayers, scriptures or wishes for Ava, please write them in the comment section… We believe that the Lord will be glorified through this, and we want to show Ava how good her God is! Thank you for all your prayers for our “little bird”… she is so loved! We know she has so many friends waiting for her to come home!

We love you all!

With so much gratitude,

Mark and Melissa

After having one of the busiest summers I ever remember having, I’ve been looking forward to Autumn tremendously this year. And Fall is definitely in the air. Although it has been warm and sunny, the leaves are beginning to change and there is a certain smell in the breeze that makes me yearn for cozy chilly days around the corner. Mom and I have been visiting the local shops to get some inspiration, and I’ve been taking down all my summer decorations and breezy curtains to make room for cozy Autumn decorations… candles, pumpkins, etc. (Pictures to come one of these days).  I love to light my apple cider and pumpkin pie candles in the evenings and enjoy a little “house warming”.

Tonight I’ve been flipping through cookbooks to find some “comfort food” recipes: soups, hot-dishes, crock-pot creations… and I’m hoping for more apples this year from my neighbor so I can make my favorite Apple Bread again.

The Lord is taking me through some hard things lately, but I’m just so aware of His presence that never leaves me nor forsakes me. He never promised us that life would be easy… in fact, just the opposite. We are told to “count it all joy when you fall into various trials”… not if… “knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” (James 1:2-3) I think at times women can feel like they need to look like we have it all together. That our life is great and perfect in every way. But sometimes life is messy. Sometimes it’s hard. And sometimes the lessons we must go through can bring about pain and suffering. And that’s okay, because everyone experiences the tough stuff at some time or another, and we shouldn’t be in a competition to prove our perfection. Perfection can only be found in Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of our faith. So during this last week, I have been drawing on His strength to bring me through.

My devotional from Streams in the Desert today really spoke to me: “Recognize that Unseen Presence… which is so wonderful, quieting, soothing, calming and warming. He is here, close to you, and His Presence is real. Some One is present, and He is a warm-hearted Friend and the all-powerful Lord.”

So really the true “house warming” comes from inviting His Presence to permeate every nook and cranny of our homes. When we allow Him to quiet our hearts amid whatever storm we’re in, and to set us aglow with His love for us once again.

Autumn blessings to all as you enjoy this upcoming cozy season.

“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation.”

- Psalm 62:1

“Many of us suffer from the delusion that activity, accomplishments, size, and hubbub endear us to God and confirm His blessing. Although it runs against the grain of our surrounding culture, we must learn to practice the art of stillness, of quietness, of listening, and of receiving if we desire to be intimate with God. Because it takes time and loving attention to sustain a quality relationship, the Lord is more interested in our presence with Him than our performance for Him. While we come to love God by knowing Him, it is just as true that we come to know God by loving Him. Contemplative prayer seeks to apprehend God through love and faith in such a way that theology is not merely speculative but lived.” ~ Kenneth Boa

“I accept the rebuke that religious busyness, ‘over activism,’ is a sign that one is still in spiritual adolescence. Maturity is marked by the repose in which lieth power. Therefore, I believe that, increasingly, I should endeavor to be silent unto God and should take time for that blessed culture. Already I have found that, when calm is upon the spirit, one is drawn out more readily in adoration.” – G. H. Morling

“Blessed the man who learns the lesson of stillness and fully accepts God’s Word, ‘In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.’ Each time he listens to the word of the Father, or asks the Father to listen to his words, he dares not begin his Bible reading or prayer without first pausing and waiting, until the soul be hushed in the presence of the Eternal Majesty. Under a sense of Divine nearness, the soul, feeling how self is always ready to assert itself, and intrude even into the holiest of all with its thoughts and efforts, yields itself in a quiet act of self-surrender to the teaching and working of the Divine Spirit. It is still and waits in holy silence, until all is calm and ready to receive the revelation of the Divine will and presence. Its reading and prayer then indeed become a waiting on God with ear and heart opened and purged to receive fully only what He says. ‘Abide in Christ!’ Let no one think that he can do this if he has not daily his quiet time, his seasons of meditation and waiting on God.” – Andrew Murray

“We should make a private chapel of our heart where we can retire from time to time to commune with Him, peacefully, humbly, lovingly.” – Brother Lawrence

“For am I now seeking the approval of God? If I were still trying to please man,

I would not be a servant of Christ.”

- Galatians 1:10

My deepest desire is to know who I am as a daughter of God. To be willing to risk rejection in order to be the woman that He has called me to be. To lean with abandon on the strength of my Saviour, and to not find it necessary to lean on man for my security or identity. A brave and courageous woman ~ one who listens to and obeys the voice of the Lord… not man. 

Fear of man has been a downfall of mine for many years. I feel the Lord is working through the soil of my heart lately to pull out the strong roots of this sin in a big way. Because if I fear man, I cannot fear God. 

A few years back, my husband and I were sensing a strong leading from the Lord to change churches. We prayed together as a couple, we prayed with spiritual mentors, my family, and a few close friends… all seemed to be in agreement about what the Lord was speaking and His confirmations were quite clear. We knew it would be a sad time for us and for the church family in which we were leaving, but we had no idea the testing and trials we would ultimately go through as a result of following the Lord’s leading. We went through the proper channels of leadership, explaining our desire to be obedient to the Lord and to move on to the new things that God was calling us to as a couple. It was a step of extreme faith for us, but we knew this was right and we were excited for His plans to be shown to us in a clear way.

Some were gracious and sent us off with the blessing of the Lord.  But…we were not met with this same loving release by many of the people. Many people had their own opinions and plans for our life. They had their reasons for why they felt we were wrong. We were met with anger, manipulation, condemnation. Mark and I prayed a lot together through this time. I cried a lot. We still felt the Lord’s call stronger than ever and we obeyed. I think this has been the hardest testing that I have ever been through to date. I was a people pleaser… and I had made people angry. Angry enough not to talk to us anymore. It. hurt. like. crazy. I felt like an outcast in the community that we lived in. I worked at a little shop at this time, and one woman from the church refused to even come in if I was working. I had always been so kind to her, and now it was as though I had personally wounded her deeply in some way. Gossip would circulate about us “backsliding” and “turning our back’s on God”, and it would somehow always make it’s way back to our ears. I cried out to God to “please vindicate us!” and “show them our hearts!” but to no avail. The damage was done according to them. And I let intimidation get through to me.

I began to beg Mark to return to this church… the very church that was so angry with us. Yes. The fear of man was so strong on me that I was willing to reject obedience to God in order to find approval with man. I just wanted friends back. I didn’t want to look like we were wrong. I didn’t want to appear at fault. I was so worried about our position in their eyes that I was willing to give up God’s best for us and obey the voice of man. All this is rooted in such pride… not willing to give up my appearances to follow Christ. I heard somewhere that we are afraid of others because we love ourselves too much! We become enslaved to men. So sad to remember how weak I was through it all, but I am so very glad to have a godly husband who does not fear man like I do! He spoke truth to me, prayed with me, and refused to be disobedient to God. Looking back, I know that the Lord was taking me through a huge test in Fear of God vs. Fear of man. I really didn’t do so hot. But as in all things, He works them out for good to those who are called according to His purpose. I know that it brought Mark into a place of solid leadership in our home, and it brought me into a place of realizing my bottomless need for my Heavenly Father. I can do nothing without Him. People will fail (as I do daily), but He never fails. It also opened my eyes wide to the sin of fear of man in my life. My people-pleasing and prideful self-preservation was exposed and I knew that the Lord needed to do a complete work in my life. I need to become a God-fearing woman. Solid. Brave. Secure in Him. Faithful, even when man is not pleased with me. 

And thus, the work had begun. And lately it has intensified. One of the most surprising ways in which the fear of man was surfacing again was through blogging. Mark installed a little “counter” that tells us how many hits we have on our blogs everyday. On any given day I can have 80 different hits on this blog… and yet only a few close friends and family ever comment. I began to wonder who everyone was, and are they judging me? Do they disagree with what I’m saying? And suddenly the little fears began to take over once again. I was even dabbling with the thought of quitting blogging, since I’m not a real public person anyway, and all my thoughts and spiritual growth lessons are spread all over the internet for all to see. But then the Lord began to convict me… am I blogging for appearances? Or am I blogging for Him? If I can’t be open and honest about my faults, my failings, my lessons learned… then I’m being fake. My need for God doesn’t need to be a secret. Judged or not, I’m needy for Him. I want to fear Him in every area of my life. And I need not fear man. 

Being fearful of men is a miserable way to live, and I am committed to submitting this area of my life to Him. I want to see His freedom break through in this area once and for all. Ultimately this is idolatry because we are always bent toward man to make us feel secure and affirmed. It makes us emotionally dependent… a very uneasy place to be, because our feelings of worth and value are in their hands. We seek our fulfillment from man. We let another person(s) tell us who we are when ultimately this can only be done by our Heavenly Father. And we can only find healing from this sin by carefully listening to His words of love and affirmation over us. Finding my identity in Him is a quest that I do not take lightly. His is the only opinion that matters, really. So I’ve made it my goal to get out of the courtroom of man. The judgements of man are fleshly, but God’s judgement is righteous… holy… loving… truthful. So if I feel judged or am tempted to judge others, I turn the matter over to the One True Judge who judges righteously. 

“The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. Many seek the ruler’s favour; but every man’s judgement cometh from the LORD.” – Proverbs 29:25-26

I l.o.v.e. this quote by Emelie Barnes. I keep it in my Listening Prayer Journal as a reminder of my ultimate goal:

“As we [listen to Him] we come into our full identity; we know who we are and who we were created to be and become. We pass from immaturity to maturity.” – Leanne Payne

“What strange thing is this, my Lord? – that there is anything to gain by winning the approval and favor of other men and women. After all, they are only created beings, as we are. It does not matter one whit if everyone speaks highly of me. It matters only that I live without blame in your sight, my Lord!” – Theresa of Avila

Lord, You know that I have so far to go, but as I sit at Your feet, You draw me closer everyday. Teach me to seek Your approval only. Teach me to fear You and not the opinions of man. Let my roots grow deep into you… so that I will be solid and secure. Show me my worth and value… show me who am in You. And give me freedom to be me. ~ Amen.

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” 

- Matthew 5:44

The following quote is by Os Hillman:

“There was a man who had become a friend and mentor to me, but a conflict rose between us that we were unable to resolve. I never imagined that this man would go from being one of my best friends to an enemy. I asked God to show me how I should treat this man, and the words of Jesus came to mind, ‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.’ 

‘Lord,’ I said, ’surely you don’t mean I’m to love this man! Not after the way he’s hurt me and refused to reconcile!’

As I argued with God, I remembered that Jesus, before He was betrayed, got down on His knees and washed the feet of Judas Iscariot, His enemy. The moment that scene came to mind, I knew what God was calling me to do. I had to wash the feet of my Judas. 

This man who had been my friend and mentor had also been a client of my advertising agency. He was a Christian author and speaker, and I decided to bless this man by continuing to promote his ministry and his books.

Did he ever come back to me and reconcile? Yes, seven years later. But even if he had never reconciled with me, I knew that I did what God called me to do. I washed the feet of my Judas. I passed the test. 

God doesn’t promise that if we forgive there will be a happy ending. He doesn’t promise that the man who refuses to pay a bill will suddenly write a check. He doesn’t promise that one who rejects reconciliation will instantly soften his heart. Jesus forgave His executioners, but that didn’t keep them from nailing Him to the cross. 

The Graduate Level Test is not about getting the results we want. It’s about proving that we trust God enough to forgive our Judases. It’s a graduate-level course in Christian obedience. But I believe that every Christian whom God uses in a significant way must pass the Judas test. God wants to know if we are willing to be imitators of Jesus. How can we say we are followers of Christ if we won’t wash the feet of our Judases?”

“I love the sweet smell of dawn.”

-Emme  Woodhull

I’ve been waking up at 5:45 in the morning the last couple of weeks to take care of Jackson, and I must say, mornings are my favorite time of the day in this house. I groggily poured myself a cup of coffee one morning and turned around to see how gloriously the light bathes my great-grandma’s cupboard in the early morning hours. I was mesmerized. As the sun rose higher in the sky, the shadows crept back all too soon. But for a short time, all I could do was stare at the beauty of the light. 

So this is where I’ve started to bring my Bible and journal in the mornings before the baby arrives… here to the kitchen table to share a cup of coffee and fellowship with the Lord. Soaking in The Light in the early morning hours and renewing again my discipline to make Him the first priority of my day. 

Psalm 5:3 “My voice you shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up.” 

“The highest joy of all is to possess the Father – till there remains no shred of darkness nor cloud nor even a mist between us and His endless pure light. The highest joy is to see Him as He is, to feel all the sweetness of His being nourishing our soul, rejoined to Him in our very substance… I saw that the only thing that blocks us from living in the rays of God’s pure light now is sin: first, our hunger for sin; then the action of sin itself; finally, the wasting starvation sin causes to our souls. For such empty darkness can never feed our souls, which were made for endless light.” – Julian of Norwich