BeautyRevealed | The Blog of Melissa J. Dillon

Happy Birthday, Babe! You are my dream come true.

“For am I now seeking the approval of God? If I were still trying to please man,

I would not be a servant of Christ.”

- Galatians 1:10

My deepest desire is to know who I am as a daughter of God. To be willing to risk rejection in order to be the woman that He has called me to be. To lean with abandon on the strength of my Saviour, and to not find it necessary to lean on man for my security or identity. A brave and courageous woman ~ one who listens to and obeys the voice of the Lord… not man. 

Fear of man has been a downfall of mine for many years. I feel the Lord is working through the soil of my heart lately to pull out the strong roots of this sin in a big way. Because if I fear man, I cannot fear God. 

A few years back, my husband and I were sensing a strong leading from the Lord to change churches. We prayed together as a couple, we prayed with spiritual mentors, my family, and a few close friends… all seemed to be in agreement about what the Lord was speaking and His confirmations were quite clear. We knew it would be a sad time for us and for the church family in which we were leaving, but we had no idea the testing and trials we would ultimately go through as a result of following the Lord’s leading. We went through the proper channels of leadership, explaining our desire to be obedient to the Lord and to move on to the new things that God was calling us to as a couple. It was a step of extreme faith for us, but we knew this was right and we were excited for His plans to be shown to us in a clear way.

Some were gracious and sent us off with the blessing of the Lord.  But…we were not met with this same loving release by many of the people. Many people had their own opinions and plans for our life. They had their reasons for why they felt we were wrong. We were met with anger, manipulation, condemnation. Mark and I prayed a lot together through this time. I cried a lot. We still felt the Lord’s call stronger than ever and we obeyed. I think this has been the hardest testing that I have ever been through to date. I was a people pleaser… and I had made people angry. Angry enough not to talk to us anymore. It. hurt. like. crazy. I felt like an outcast in the community that we lived in. I worked at a little shop at this time, and one woman from the church refused to even come in if I was working. I had always been so kind to her, and now it was as though I had personally wounded her deeply in some way. Gossip would circulate about us “backsliding” and “turning our back’s on God”, and it would somehow always make it’s way back to our ears. I cried out to God to “please vindicate us!” and “show them our hearts!” but to no avail. The damage was done according to them. And I let intimidation get through to me.

I began to beg Mark to return to this church… the very church that was so angry with us. Yes. The fear of man was so strong on me that I was willing to reject obedience to God in order to find approval with man. I just wanted friends back. I didn’t want to look like we were wrong. I didn’t want to appear at fault. I was so worried about our position in their eyes that I was willing to give up God’s best for us and obey the voice of man. All this is rooted in such pride… not willing to give up my appearances to follow Christ. I heard somewhere that we are afraid of others because we love ourselves too much! We become enslaved to men. So sad to remember how weak I was through it all, but I am so very glad to have a godly husband who does not fear man like I do! He spoke truth to me, prayed with me, and refused to be disobedient to God. Looking back, I know that the Lord was taking me through a huge test in Fear of God vs. Fear of man. I really didn’t do so hot. But as in all things, He works them out for good to those who are called according to His purpose. I know that it brought Mark into a place of solid leadership in our home, and it brought me into a place of realizing my bottomless need for my Heavenly Father. I can do nothing without Him. People will fail (as I do daily), but He never fails. It also opened my eyes wide to the sin of fear of man in my life. My people-pleasing and prideful self-preservation was exposed and I knew that the Lord needed to do a complete work in my life. I need to become a God-fearing woman. Solid. Brave. Secure in Him. Faithful, even when man is not pleased with me. 

And thus, the work had begun. And lately it has intensified. One of the most surprising ways in which the fear of man was surfacing again was through blogging. Mark installed a little “counter” that tells us how many hits we have on our blogs everyday. On any given day I can have 80 different hits on this blog… and yet only a few close friends and family ever comment. I began to wonder who everyone was, and are they judging me? Do they disagree with what I’m saying? And suddenly the little fears began to take over once again. I was even dabbling with the thought of quitting blogging, since I’m not a real public person anyway, and all my thoughts and spiritual growth lessons are spread all over the internet for all to see. But then the Lord began to convict me… am I blogging for appearances? Or am I blogging for Him? If I can’t be open and honest about my faults, my failings, my lessons learned… then I’m being fake. My need for God doesn’t need to be a secret. Judged or not, I’m needy for Him. I want to fear Him in every area of my life. And I need not fear man. 

Being fearful of men is a miserable way to live, and I am committed to submitting this area of my life to Him. I want to see His freedom break through in this area once and for all. Ultimately this is idolatry because we are always bent toward man to make us feel secure and affirmed. It makes us emotionally dependent… a very uneasy place to be, because our feelings of worth and value are in their hands. We seek our fulfillment from man. We let another person(s) tell us who we are when ultimately this can only be done by our Heavenly Father. And we can only find healing from this sin by carefully listening to His words of love and affirmation over us. Finding my identity in Him is a quest that I do not take lightly. His is the only opinion that matters, really. So I’ve made it my goal to get out of the courtroom of man. The judgements of man are fleshly, but God’s judgement is righteous… holy… loving… truthful. So if I feel judged or am tempted to judge others, I turn the matter over to the One True Judge who judges righteously. 

“The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. Many seek the ruler’s favour; but every man’s judgement cometh from the LORD.” – Proverbs 29:25-26

I l.o.v.e. this quote by Emelie Barnes. I keep it in my Listening Prayer Journal as a reminder of my ultimate goal:

“As we [listen to Him] we come into our full identity; we know who we are and who we were created to be and become. We pass from immaturity to maturity.” – Leanne Payne

“What strange thing is this, my Lord? – that there is anything to gain by winning the approval and favor of other men and women. After all, they are only created beings, as we are. It does not matter one whit if everyone speaks highly of me. It matters only that I live without blame in your sight, my Lord!” – Theresa of Avila

Lord, You know that I have so far to go, but as I sit at Your feet, You draw me closer everyday. Teach me to seek Your approval only. Teach me to fear You and not the opinions of man. Let my roots grow deep into you… so that I will be solid and secure. Show me my worth and value… show me who am in You. And give me freedom to be me. ~ Amen.

“Gee, Wally, that’s just swell.”

- Theodore “Beaver” Cleaver

L.o.v.i.n.g the Retro Look lately. It’s so summery and “Leave it to Beaver” to me . Thought I’d share a few fun pictures I’ve run across lately.

Sorry my posts have been few and far between lately. Along with Spring and Summer, there always comes a lot of outdoor work: raking, gardening, planting, mowing, etc. Hubby and I are also trying to finish leveling the backyard so we can put in a flagstone patio. We want to do it as soon as possible so we can enjoy it this summer. Maybe we’ll even get a fire pit so we can cozy up and roast marshmallows in the evenings… mmmm…

We’re also planting a bigger garden with my family this summer. Last night Jodie rented a big ASV to clear out trees and brush from the land, today we will be tilling it, and hopefully by monday we’ll have it all planted! It’s nice to do things as a family ~ many hands make light work… or lighter work anyway.

God’s also been doing a lot in my life in the last week or so. I’ve been taking time to journal and just enjoy some solitude and precious time with Him. Lots of tilling up in the garden of my heart and pulling out things that need to go ~ Fear of man being the main one. It’s been very challenging but so good at the same time. I’ll share more on that later.

I’ll try hard to post more often ~ last Spring and Summer I hardly posted at all, so I’ll try to do better this year. I’m definitely a Summer Girl… Sunshine and warmth bring such happiness to my soul. Hope you all are enjoying some warm, sunny days, too! Blessings and much love,

Melissa Joy

“The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses.”

- Hannah Rion

This will be my first little garden… ever. Last summer my husband and my father helped me make a little garden plot behind the garage. It was unused space and it gets lots of sun all day long, so it was perfect. I’ve been pulling up weeds all weekend long in preparation for planting in a couple of weeks (Minnesota gardens are always way behind!) I know that so far it’s just a plot of dirt, but I am already finding so much satisfaction in spending hours tending to my little garden. Solitude recharges my batteries. It nourishes my soul. This morning it was so quiet and peaceful except for a few singing birds and cooing doves, and I just drank in the serenity of it all. The warm sun on my back… dirty fingers and toes… the smell of the rich soil… it was heaven on earth. And such satisfaction! Who would have known that pulling weeds could be so gratifying? And I haven’t even planted anything yet… ha! I’m sunburned and tired, but I can already tell I’m going to love gardening. I really do hope I have a green thumb, though, since I’ve never tried this before. I’m also wanting to learn how to can vegetables and dry my own herbs this fall. And I am looking forward to wonderful organic produce while saving money. 

Susan Branch has a page in her Summer Book about her kitchen garden. I love the idea of having a little picket fence around the garden with a border of flowers. And a lovely floppy garden hat so I don’t burn my nose like I did today! 

As I was pulling weeds I had a lot of thinking time. Tending a garden reminds me a lot of how necessary it is to tend to our hearts and our spiritual life. The little weeds that pop up in our minds and hearts can so easily take over when we don’t do something about them right away. If we let them continue to grow there, they are so much harder to pull out then when they are small. Sometimes it can be exhausting to continually “weed out” the sins, snares, things of this world, etc. But the more we weed them out, the less they return. Clearing out the those ugly weeds is so necessary to our spiritual walk… because the longer they stay, the deeper their roots go and the harder it is to uproot those pesky things. And they begin to choke out the beautiful and fruitful things in our lives. It’s so important to watch over the affairs and thoughts our hearts. Just a few “weedy” thoughts for today! 

“Your soul shall be like a well-watered garden” (Jeremiah 31:12). 

“There aren’t enough days in the weekend.”

- Rod Schmidt

We celebrated Mom’s Birthday this weekend as well as Mother’s Day, so that Jamie and Angela could be with us for both. They traveled up from The Cities on Friday night and we had such a nice weekend with them (although, it always goes by so quickly). On Saturday we all helped mom with a few projects for her birthday present… 7 pairs of hands can get a lot done in a few hours! Then we went out for dinner at our favorite Mexican Restaurant. We played Dictionary late into the evening… I forgot how much I like that game!

On Sunday we all went to Jodie’s house for a Mother’s Day/Birthday celebration. Jodie grilled his famous Lemon Chicken, mom made potato salad and baked beans, Jamie and Angela prepared the salad, and I brought the cake. Team work! It was a delicious meal, and we sat out on Jodie’s deck and enjoyed the warm sunshine. 

The Grill Master at work! 

Jamie and Angela  (sorry guys, the sun was bright looking up at the camera!)

Wedding bells are coming quickly for these two… August 8th will be here before we know it! Seeing the love between these two is such a joy! The Lord is so good.

After our yummy lunch, we moved inside to play some wii before everyone had to head for home. It was a lovely weekend. Happy Mother’s Day and Belated B-day, Mom! 

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us; still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” - Washington Irving

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” 

- Matthew 5:44

The following quote is by Os Hillman:

“There was a man who had become a friend and mentor to me, but a conflict rose between us that we were unable to resolve. I never imagined that this man would go from being one of my best friends to an enemy. I asked God to show me how I should treat this man, and the words of Jesus came to mind, ‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.’ 

‘Lord,’ I said, ’surely you don’t mean I’m to love this man! Not after the way he’s hurt me and refused to reconcile!’

As I argued with God, I remembered that Jesus, before He was betrayed, got down on His knees and washed the feet of Judas Iscariot, His enemy. The moment that scene came to mind, I knew what God was calling me to do. I had to wash the feet of my Judas. 

This man who had been my friend and mentor had also been a client of my advertising agency. He was a Christian author and speaker, and I decided to bless this man by continuing to promote his ministry and his books.

Did he ever come back to me and reconcile? Yes, seven years later. But even if he had never reconciled with me, I knew that I did what God called me to do. I washed the feet of my Judas. I passed the test. 

God doesn’t promise that if we forgive there will be a happy ending. He doesn’t promise that the man who refuses to pay a bill will suddenly write a check. He doesn’t promise that one who rejects reconciliation will instantly soften his heart. Jesus forgave His executioners, but that didn’t keep them from nailing Him to the cross. 

The Graduate Level Test is not about getting the results we want. It’s about proving that we trust God enough to forgive our Judases. It’s a graduate-level course in Christian obedience. But I believe that every Christian whom God uses in a significant way must pass the Judas test. God wants to know if we are willing to be imitators of Jesus. How can we say we are followers of Christ if we won’t wash the feet of our Judases?”

“I love the sweet smell of dawn.”

-Emme  Woodhull

I’ve been waking up at 5:45 in the morning the last couple of weeks to take care of Jackson, and I must say, mornings are my favorite time of the day in this house. I groggily poured myself a cup of coffee one morning and turned around to see how gloriously the light bathes my great-grandma’s cupboard in the early morning hours. I was mesmerized. As the sun rose higher in the sky, the shadows crept back all too soon. But for a short time, all I could do was stare at the beauty of the light. 

So this is where I’ve started to bring my Bible and journal in the mornings before the baby arrives… here to the kitchen table to share a cup of coffee and fellowship with the Lord. Soaking in The Light in the early morning hours and renewing again my discipline to make Him the first priority of my day. 

Psalm 5:3 “My voice you shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up.” 

“The highest joy of all is to possess the Father – till there remains no shred of darkness nor cloud nor even a mist between us and His endless pure light. The highest joy is to see Him as He is, to feel all the sweetness of His being nourishing our soul, rejoined to Him in our very substance… I saw that the only thing that blocks us from living in the rays of God’s pure light now is sin: first, our hunger for sin; then the action of sin itself; finally, the wasting starvation sin causes to our souls. For such empty darkness can never feed our souls, which were made for endless light.” – Julian of Norwich

“Words are the voice of the heart.”

- Winston Churchill

(Make your own wordle at www.wordle.net. It’s fun!)